I can’t sit still, much less hang in just one interweb spot!  I’m over on Angela’s lovely blog, A Healthy Fit, talking about the fine art of bicycle naming!  So stop by and say hi (and keep reading Angela’s awesome blog, too).

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Remember how last week I rushed to finish a dress in time for a party I was hosting?

Well, about me hosting parties…  The only decent contribution I can make to a party–and the Good Hostess Arena– is a dip.

You see, I would LOVE to be the kind of person that loves hosting.  I’d love to think of great party themes, spend days poring over menu options, and sing as I blend/chop/dice/puree/fill/decorate/pimp the deliciousness that I’m going to offer my guests, with a smile on my face and the firm conviction that I was BORN to host.

In other words, I’d love to be Amy Sedaris, Hostess Extraordinaire.  (You cannot possibly throw another party until you read her awesome I Like You:  Entertaining Under the Influence.  I mean it.)

I bought her book a few years ago in hopes that it would inspire a few fits of Betty Crocker/Draper.  I, too, wanted to put together a perfect menu and entertainment plan for a rich uncle (like Amy does), or for hosting a soiree for an unabashedly nerdy club (like Amy does), or for feeding a bevvy of lumberjacks (ditto) or just throwing a party for a rabbit (you get it by now).  (The only Amy Sedaris party I have no intention of wanting to throw is the children’s party–the only way I’d ever do such a foolish thing is when I have my own and under extreme duress).

However, despite putting the book under my pillow (hostess osmosis, anyone?) I have NOT turned into her.  Therefore, my main goals when throwing a party are:

A) that people turn up,  and

B) that they don’t vow to never come back when they leave my house at the end of the party.

Until I turn into the lovely Amy, I’ll find consolation in the fact that Mr. Laura takes these important party matters very seriously (and therefore takes over planning, decorating, and general fussing), and that throwing a party is a great excuse for making–and wearing–a fancy new dress.

All I need to do, really, is produce a dip–and that’s something I can definitely handle.

Last year’s party featured Red Kidney Bean Hummus as my newbie recipe.  This year, I went nutso over eggplant, and made Eggplant Tomato Dip.  Creamy?  Check.  Full of texture?  Check.  Safely dairy-free for your kind hostess?  Check.  Garlicky enough to stop guests from hooking up with people they shouldn’t hook up with?  Check, check, check.

Of course, if you want your guests to mingle at a distance of less than two feet from each other, you can put in less garlic; however, I’m all about keeping things business and don’t want my guests making out all over the place. And anyway, I like to watch who eats it and loves it and then talks to other people–because people who love garlic are cool like that.

As with all my recipes, this is just a blueprint, so don’t stress about quantities; you have better things to stress about if you’re hosting a party.

Eggplant Tomato Dip

Grab yourself some:

• Eggplant–I use about three of the size below (hand in the picture for scale); I’d imagine you’d want two if you were using larger eggplants:
• Tomatoes–3 or 4
• Italian sweet pepper (or any other mild, flavorful, non-bell pepper; even roasted red peppers would work, if you like them)–1 small (about 1/4 cup, finely chopped)
• Lemons or limes–2 large or 3 small, juiced
• Cilantro–small handful
• Parsley–smaller handful
• Garlic–1-2 cloves, minced
• Olive oil–2 Tbsp.
• Salt and black pepper–to taste

Then go to town:

• Turn the oven on to 425 F.  Stab each eggplant a few times all around, then place on a baking sheet and shove into the oven for about 45 minutes or so (no need to waste energy–no need to preheat the oven!), until they start to collapse and the skins start to blacken, turning them once halfway through the baking.
• Meanwhile, start chopping your garlic, tomatoes, pepper, and herbs; juice the lemons, too.
• When the eggplant is all collapsed and dark, take them out of the oven and let them cool down a bit.  Once they’re cool enough to handle without singeing your pretty fingers, slice in half and scoop out the inside, making sure to scrape as much as possible so that you get some of that yummy grilled flavor from the skin.
• Mash by hand or in the blender, then combine the rest of the ingredients, season to taste, chill.
• Resume stressing about your party (but don’t stress about how this dip looks–everyone knows that what eggplant dips lack in visual flair they make up for in taste).

PS–I also made a killah (no, not killer–killah!) spinach dip.  However, every hostess worth her salt needs to have a secret recipe, and I aspire to be in that club, so that spinach dip is my secret.  If I told you, I’d have to get Tony Soprano on you.  Hence, for your own good, I’ll hold on to that recipe.